Sometimes we face tough decisions that involve one or more unknowns. We can’t know in advance what the consequences of each alternative will be. This is especially true of big decisions like quitting a job, entering or exiting a relationship, or moving to a new city.
When faced with such a decision, what do you do? If you can’t figure out the consequences, can you do any better than guessing?
Usually what people do in such situations is freeze. Even when you don’t like what you have, you may worry that the alternatives are worse. In a way every decision involves a choice between maintaining the status quo vs. making a change. When we can’t be certain a change will work out for the better, by default we stay put.
Let me give you a very simple method of making these kinds of decisions. In most cases it takes no more than 60 seconds to evaluate any particular path.
For each alternative you’re considering, ask yourself, “Is this really me?”
What you’re asking is whether each path is a fair expression of who you truly are. To what degree does each option reflect the real you?
Decisions are acts of self-expression
When we look at choices as being more than just paths — as being creative statements of self-expression — certain decisions become much easier to make. You may say to yourself, “This path isn’t going to be easy, but I know this is the right way to go because it’s who I am.” Or you may conclude, “No matter how I try to represent this to myself, I know that deep down this isn’t who I am. This just isn’t me.”
It’s very important to separate this evaluation step from the act of summoning the courage to act on this knowledge. It’s OK to acknowledge you’re in a place you don’t want to be, even when you lack the ability to do anything about it right now. The courage to act comes later.
